Heifer whines could be human cries, Closer comes the screaming knife (Meat is Murder - The Smiths)

This will all come clear ...............

Saturday: Awoke to a really dark and wet Saturday morning in London.  Which was great as I rolled over and stayed in bed.  I eventually crawled out and made a cup of tea and went back again to watch Corrie.  All rock and roll in my life.  I had a dentist appointment today.  My dentist is a ten minute walk up the road so there was no rush this morning.  I love Saturday mornings when you can just chill, fall into the day.

Dentist was once again very impressive.  I had two teeth built up around the gum.  Amazing stuff.  On my way back to the flat I saw a wonderful act of kindness.  An elderly woman was walking in the torrential rain and one of the laces on her trainers was undone - yes a very elderly woman in trainers.  She stopped and asked a young guy to tie up her lace for her.  He just smiled, bend down and tied her lace.  It was so sweet.  

Back to the flat, shower, hair wash and make up.  This afternoon I have my third date with Mr South Africa.  Unfortunately, we do not have South African weather this afternoon.  It has been extremely wet all day. The reason for this weeks song is because Mr South Africa is a vegan and I am cooking. Now, I am vegetarian and even I have found this difficult.  Andy thinks it is hysterical and

Selection of vegan cakes from Borough Market

believes life is to stressful as it is and cannot imagine getting through it without meat or chocolate.  Mr South African eats neither.  I have found vegan wine, vegan cheese and I need to buy vegan stock cubes. I am going to cook mushroom risotto. Andy says it is going to be a bowl of water with a bit of rice floating in it. I am meeting him at Borough Market first for some mulled wine and to get the mushrooms.  Well everyday is an adventure and I had wonderful afternoon and evening! But Mr SA is the opposite to me, he is very private so I will be respecting his views and will be saying no more on this blog. He was worried about my blog and I understand that. I explained I write this so one day, just one day, someone may read it and fill in all the gaps.  I did not have to explain any more which was so lovely. We both had an amazing memory day!

Sunday:  I did not want to get out of my cosy bed this morning.  It was so difficult.  I wanted to go to my meditation group; I did not want to leave my bed. I was tired.  I eventually dragged myself out of bed and showered and made my way to the bus stop.  I had to wait ages for the bus today.  London

Sneaky selfie on the way to the bus this morning

was busy.  I think it may have been because of the Remembrance Day Parade because I saw a lot of police and sniffer dogs in the City.  I finally arrived at Hoxton and the cafe was really busy today.  There were so many new people there which is great to see.  It was a good meditation but my mind was wandering at times and I had to keep focusing back but I do enjoy my lovely Sunday mornings.  But as I was tired I did not stay long.  Caught the bus back and stayed on it and got off at the big Asda.  Asda was full of Christmas stuff, which I must say got me a bit excited again. 

Shopping in London should be an Olympic sport.  Firstly, you have to be totally aware of what you are buying.  Do you really need it?  How much does it weigh? I am mindful of everything I put in the trolley, because I know I have to carry it. I fancied a cooked Sunday lunch so I had plenty of vegetables, which are heavy. I get to the till and it fits in my one bag I had with me but I had to buy another bag for life.  I packed the new bag and then it split.  Obviously, that bag's life

Shoreditch Park and the view over the City

was only for 2 minutes.  I took another back and stuffed the not so bag for life in the new bag for life and off I went.  I had one strong bag on my shoulder, bag for life in my hand. I waited for the bus and it come and it was full. I then have to stand, with bags, balancing.  The bus stopped half way home to change drivers ...... grrrrr!  By now I was over my capping limit for buses for the day (you are only charged £4.40 in total daily for bus use, each journey is £1.50) so I changed bus and managed to get a seat on the next one.  I am sitting there surrounded by bags.  The bus gets to my stop and again I am balancing on a stopping bus with full shopping bags.  Then don't forget I then have to climb 48 steps up the stairs to the flat!  It is an endurance.  But oh boy was my Sunday dinner lovely and certainly worth the effort! Belly full and being tired.  I snuggled up on the sofa and promptly dozed off for an hour.  It was like a Christmas day sleep.  A chilled out lazy Sunday.  But all good. 

Now for the John Lewis advert.  This is the first time in five years I am looking forward to Christmas and John Lewis have made an advert for just for me.  It is firstly a Noel Gallagher song (and he is gorgeous) , the words of the song say so much to me, it is about a little girl looking up to the moon (I do this all the time), there is a lonely old man living on the moon alone (I know I am only 29 but stay with me) and the girl sends him a present for Christmas.  I guess it is the ultimate I love you to the moon and back statement. I sobbed and sobbed. I look at the moon and think, at sometime Meg will be looking at the moon, then we are looking at each other and that is good.  And as you know, I love her to the moon and back.  But it is all good.  Thank you so much John Lewis but I know I will cry every time I see it.  I have just looked at the John Lewis website and you can go to their rooftop at Oxford Street and look at the stars through telescopes.  I will be doing this!

The rest of Sunday was lazy, but I guess that is what Sundays are good for.  We finally watched the last few episodes of Sex and the City and it got me thinking. Life is about short stories.  Snapshots and images.  We collect them in our minds and replay them when we see something that reminds us.  That could be a song (in my case) an image, a smell or just a flashback.  But we have this DVD in our heads to play as and when we need to do so; or at other times when we really do not want to.  A memory for me can been portrayed in a completely different way to someone else who was there.  Tonight on Sex and the City Mr Big said 'abso fucking lutely' and I was trying not to cry by then as it was.  But when I heard that, I cried.  It reminded me of dear Steve who would always say that, but Andy couldn't recognise it.  His memories are different than mine.  I come to London to bury old memories and images and to make new ones.  This weekend I have made some amazing memories and I can, at times feel my old memories fading, well so I think. But they are still there, safe in mind.  I just have to dig a little deeper for them. But at last, I have new and amazing memory days to replay in my head.  And for that, I am so thankful.

As always, with my love x