Although this World is a crazy ride, you just take your seat and hold on tight (The Life of Riley - The Lightening Seeds)

As this post's title says we have to make things happen.  As difficult as that may be at times: huge decisions to make, changes to put in place.  None of us have time to sit around. I hate to be the one to tell you folks, but none of us are going to get out of this life alive.  So step outside of your comfort zone, brush off the anxiety and doubts and go and make whatever it is you want, happen.

Many people used to say that the pavements of London were paved with gold. Obviously, this is not the case.  However, they are paved with something ........... bones.  London resembles a graveyard.  You only have to walk a few paces and you will find a bone.  Now, I am assuming these are chicken wing bones, but being a vegetarian this is something that really is of little interest to me.  London has food outlets everywhere.  I am amazed I am not the size of a house by now.  However, I have actually lost weight since coming here probably because I can't afford to actually eat.  No seriously, I eat very little these days and have adopted the philosophy that I will eat when I am hungry and not because the clock says I have to eat.  I did this, if you remember, when I was in Thailand.  Back to the bones......... Some of the takeaways specialise (and I use this word very loosely) in serving chicken and chips. So I am assuming, well I am hoping, that is the source of the many bits of carcasses I see littering the streets.  But really. Why can't people use a bin!

Saturday: Woke up to a grey and wet morning and in a strange mood. Ironically, I had slept really well, so no reason to feel 'off'.  I have no idea still what I am going to do today.  I know it will take time to build up a network of friends, but this is one of those days when I wish I had someone to meet up with to go for some lunch and a chat, or just a coffee and a chat. It is a good job I have learnt to like my own company and I know, in time, this will happen. This situation is not helped by the fact that every day just feels like the one before.  I still have no structure.  I am unable to go to the gym at the moment as I am convinced I have broken a little bone on the top of my left foot. There is nothing I can do about it so there is no good spending time in A&E, it will sort itself out.  But it does not need the extra use of going to the gym to harm its recovery. 

I will eventually drag my sorry carcass out of bed, shower and take me and Beatrice off somewhere.  Hopefully, when the rain stops.  But I have no idea where to go. I wanted to go to Highgate Cemetery.  I do like graveyards.  But this being London, you actually have to pay to visit it.  So I am toiling with the idea of visiting the graffiti place again near Waterloo or, taking myself off to Canary Wharf as I have never been there.  I guess you will all find out in the next paragraph ........................

And the winner was ....... Canary Wharf.

I cannot stress how cold it has turned in London and being, once again drawn to the river, it was perishing.  I took myself (with Beatrice and iPod) to Canary

Wharf where I really did like the architecture.  You had the very new with the traditionally, industrial old.  I thought it was a good contrast.  It showed hard graft work of the masses contrasting with the hi tech, stressed work of the masses.  I then went to the Museum of London to see an exhibition called 'Soldiers and Suffragettes' The Photography of Christina Bloom.  And what a treat this turned out to be.

Christina Broom is regarded as the UK's first female press photographer.  She took her camera to the streets and captured thousands of images of people and events in London ............. at the start of the 20th Century.  Her images portrayed the uprising of the suffragette movement, the start of the first world

war and portraits of the royal household.  Amazing!  The photographs of the suffragettes were particularly important to me.  Most of you will not know, but I studied with the OU for six years to get my degree and I finally graduated in 2011 - just months after my 'terrible' time.  Throughout my degree I approached it from mainly a feminist angle and it only seemed appropriate that I recognised this fact at my degree ceremony.  So at my graduation ceremony in October 2011, myself with my Aunt and some of my dear friends went to the Bridgewater Hall in Manchester and in memory of all those women who sacrificed so much to give me the life I now lead, I wore the colours of the WSUP - Women's Social and Political Union - purple, green and white.  Whilst it was a wonderful day it was tinged with much sadness as my partner (at the time) and my daughter did not attend; they had supported me throughout my degree and without their support and love during that time, I would never have been able to complete my studies. But they refused to attend to see me graduate.  But when I look back on that day I smile and I am so pleased that I wore those colours.  I looked at every women in those photographs today and in my head, thanked every one of them.  

I really enjoyed walking around Canary Wharf, taking photos, listening to my music.  I stopped for a cup of coffee to warm me up and got my little notebook out that I carry with me now and made a few notes and then thought how my life has changed and how happy I am to be in London. Stoke never felt like

home; London is very much home. When I got back to my flat I spent the evening watching a documentary on YouTube that my friend Chris (the one that lives in Stoke who is a photographer) told me about.  He also gave me a wonderful quote which is:

'If you want to be a better photographer, lead a more interesting life'.

So I guess that is it folks, I need to lead an even more interesting life!  He also gave me another quote which would be more appropriate for next week's blog with the impending 29th birthday looming but here it is anyway:

'One of the many troubles of growing older is that it gets progressively harder to find a famous historical figure who hadn't amounted to anything by the time he was your age'.

Now ain't that the truth.  So take a look at his Facebook page. He takes some wonderful photos and has nothing to worry about with my attempts.  He has been a huge support to me in helping me with Beatrice, so thank you once again Chris.  

https://www.facebook.com/cwstreetpics?fref=ts

Sunday:  Sigh ....... its 1.09 and I haven't been to sleep yet.  

I am like this every year when my birthday approaches. My brain goes into overdrive I guess it is kind of self-assessment, like your tax return.  I look back over the past 12 months and think what was great and what was crap.  Me being me, normally focuses on the negative and let's face it gang, I have had every reason too over the past few years. I really do try not to judge everyone (and at this point mainly men) by past experiences, but it is very difficult when people (mainly men) continue to let themselves down. It just makes it more difficult for the next one who crosses my path for me to actually trust them. But what is the alternative?  There is a beautiful song by Labrinth called Beneath You are Beautiful and there is a line from there which sort of sums this thought up for me:

'You've carried on so long, you couldn't stop if you tried it, you've built your wall so high, that no one could climb it'............... so just nipping off to the builder's merchants guys to get some more bricks to rebuild my wall!

It was such a beautiful, sunny morning as I caught the bus up to Hoxton.  Took Beatrice with me and have now decided that when I have her it takes me four times as long to actually get anywhere.  Meditation was wonderful.  That group has such energy and I really wish I could just start my day, every day, like that. They are such lovely people and the whole atmosphere is so peaceful. I need to be round more people like this.  Once again, got talking and learnt about so many new and interesting things to do and places to visit.  I am so pleased that I now have my little book that I write all my notes in.  Brunch was great (thank you Sophie and Michelle) and the sun was still out so I walked back via Shoreditch and then on the bus back to the flat.

It was a quick turn around and back out of the door to Bishop's Park in Fulham. For those of you who enjoy football, this was right next door to Fulham Football Club.  I was there to watch an pop up cinema showing Grease.  Oh don't you

just love that film.  I meet up with a lovely woman called Jen, who was so obviously on my sort of wavelength.  We had warm coats or jackets and both had a lovely blanket to sit on; the guys turn up with the most smallest little cloths to sit on.  In fact, one bloke turned up with a hand towel to sit on.  Jen and I just looked at each other and you know that look girls.  It is that look that women have that you don't have to utter a single word, you just know what each other is thinking!  The film was great.  I sat there bopping and singing along.  I do like John Travolta.  My favourite bit in that film is at the dance off and that wonderful dance routine he does.  Oh to dance like Cha Cha DeGregorio just once.  The guy who runs the group said that he was going to make that happen for me lol.  With my feet at the moment!  I don't think so.

Finally, got transport home and arrived back at the flat at midnight.  I was cold and tired but apart from one crappy thing, it had been a brilliant day, spent with lovely people.

As always, with my love x