Sunday 28 June 2015

Work the camera darling ........ You look fabulous



Just a few to start with ...... more to follow x




Oh our Karen has always liked the gays!


You may find this hard to believe my dear friends, but recently on two occasions but within the same period of time, I have been rendered speechless!  Yes, me lost for words. I can remember the topic of the recent first time but not the second.  Perhaps that person can remind me what it was lol?  Yes I know miracles can happen! But the events of yesterday have once again left me lost for words.  But I will do my best to find some to share with you the joint third amazing day of my life. Seriously!

Pride in London

We left the flat and had to go and buy some wrapping paper in the 99p shop! And there it was, a beautiful tiara .... I already had one on my head and flowers in my hair and it was great as no one cared less as I wandered around Elephant and Castle, that is what I love about London, no one gives a damn.  I don't know if any of you watch the Big Bang Theory but there was a scene in one of the episodes when Sheldon gave Amy a tiara.  Yep, that was pretty much it, I was a Princess for the day.






So on the tube with said tiara, flowers in my hair, two boas and a smile bigger than the Grand Canyon we were off to Baker Street where we had to meet the others.  When we come out of the tube station it was like walking into another world, a world so colourful, happy, full of light and it was only early.  We walked down to the Macmillan float and I got my t shirt.  Then just went walking around for a bit on and off until the start of the parade. I have to be honest (I keep saying that these days, I guess it is because I don't expect others to be honest) I did get quite emotional at one point. I looked up and down Baker Street seeing so many people, dressed in various ways, all happy, smiling, celebrating their lives, giving so much light and love; then I took myself back to that evening in the 1980's to that one night club ........ things are so different now.

The parade itself started at 1:00.  You know me my friends, I will talk to anyone and boy did I talk lol.  I was spreading my glee up and down Baker Street. I met a lovely little Westie called Parsnip who made me feel sad about my beautiful little Hetty.  He was wearing a red cape and looked great.  Later on in the Parade around Piccadilly way there was a fast asleep Westie in a guys arms ..... of course I went over to make a fuss.

At 2:45 yes you did read that right, it was time for us to start moving in the parade.  I cannot tell you or find the words (again) to describe the atmosphere. It was amazing.  The parade slowly started to move and then we were off.  The music was playing and as we turned into the top end of Oxford Street (it is giving me goosebumps just typing this) the crowds were huge.  Then to the right of me, as I looked up ..... because remember to keep looking up or you miss too much .... there were two builders hanging out of the windows waving, shouting, cheering, joining in on the parade.  Andy and I took a selfie outside of Selfridges lol.  I was dancing, waving, handing out stickers all along Oxford Street, a truly amazing experience.  One guy in the crowd shouted out to me 'you are amazing, you are amazing' I went over to him to give him a sticker and he gave me a huge, huge hug and a kiss and said 'you are amazing you remind me of my Nan' lol lol.  I hugged him and said 'but sweetheart I am only 29'. Such a lovely, friendly atmosphere.


Occasionally, I would see some of Andy's friends I know and go running up to give them a hug.  I was just so happy to be there, I cannot tell you.  We got as far as Oxford Circus where the crowds were massive and turned down to Regent Street.  All along I was singing, dancing, waving my hands, then I had run out of stickers.  So my friends I did what I do best, I improvised.  I worked that crowd like a professional.  I was holding out my left hand for high fives, holding hands, going to give hugs to complete strangers ........... the boys loved me (and some of the girls).  It was like walking down the red carpet, seriously.  This is what it must be like for Kylie everyday.  But today I was Kylie lol Princess of the Gays and they loved me. 

Occasionally the float had to stop to let people cross the road and we were just coming up to Piccadilly Circus and this happened and a song come on the PA that will now be burnt in my memory forever because it was so appropriate. You know me and music and lyrics ......... I started singing and they were singing with me.  I have tears in my eyes as I am typing this because it was truly one of those moments I will never, ever forget. 




There really was no place I would rather be.

I danced, sang, hugged, kissed, high fived my way down to Trafalgar Square - the atmosphere was absolutely amazing.  I recently met someone once who said that they did not do public displays of affection ........... mmmm!  I guess I do and I was in overload yesterday.  We passed Trafalgar Square and then as quick as it seemed to have started it was over!  I just wanted to go and do it all again. I was on a super high.  It was amazing.  These words do not do the whole thing justice.  I truly felt like a Princess.

We met up with some of Andy's friends and had a drink and another and well you can guess the rest.  I knew it was going to end up messy when I started off drinking lager!  We eventually ended up in Soho aka Gay City and the atmosphere was electric but so, so busy.  We did not stay it had been a fantastic day so we went home. Tired but ecstatic.  

I guess this will be a Memory Day for me for so many reasons.  The atmosphere, the love, the smiles, the happiness and light, the reason why we were all there above all else.  My life is truly, truly blessed.  The past four years has sent me so many people.  Some have stuck around, others have left, chosen not to stay, some drift in and out but they have all had a place.  People leave a mark on you, even if they don't think they do. You may here a song or like this morning a piece on the news that reminds you of someone, a smell or a place.  People who touch your lives have etched a place in your soul.  I guess it goes back to that book.  You perhaps do not realise the impression you are making on people or them on you.  As I am typing this people are flashing through my mind.  The first was Jenny in Bangkok who remembered me a year later and also remembered my favourite meal.  The second is my beautiful Meg.  I sent her a picture of me yesterday because I wanted her to be as proud of me as I am of her.  Now Steve lol I bet he was saying 'Go on gorgeous' and laughing his head off.  I collect people, I never give up on people - regardless and they all play a part; big or small; in my life tapestry.    

On the rare occasions I allow myself to look back, and this is not often, I don't recognise me.  This journey, that I did not choose to embark on, but was pushed into, has had its ups and downs sure, but it has taken me to some amazing places, experiences and people.  For that alone, I feel incredibly and truly blessed.  Thank you each and everyone of you for playing your part and for sharing it with me.

You now I do not believe in coincidences any more and this song has just come on the radio - see music again - I guess it sums up this post - enjoy!



There are places I remember all my life
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all
And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I loved you more
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more
Songwriters
Paul Mc Cartney;John Lennon



As always, with my love x

........ oh and photos to follow on a separate blog as I need to download them.









Saturday 27 June 2015

Why be a sheep, when there are so many other beautiful creatures you can be?

I will post another blog around Pride, but I just wanted to share with you all some thoughts about me and why today is so important to me for so many reasons.  I guess it is a bit of rant, but hey, it is what it is.

I can remember back in around 1975 being actively encouraged, by my parents, to sit with them, and watch a biographical film called The Naked Civil Servant.  I can see myself now, in my PJ's sitting on the sofa in my childhood home, my dad sitting next to me and my mum in the chair.  The little rented black and white TV in the corner projecting John Hurt (in my opinion one of his best roles) as Quentin Crisp as gay man. Now let's face it.  In my home town in the 1970's you were very unlikely to ever meet a guy called Quentin, let alone an openly gay man.  I can remember sitting there watching the film, embarrassed at times, but feeling a mixture of emotions - sad then angry as he continually suffered homophobic insults and violence. But regardless, continued to live his openly, flamboyant life.  Looking back now, I guess it was a 'tipping point'. I could not understand, and still cannot if I am to be honest, why we just all can't live our lives.  Why, if we are different in anyway to what the 'majority' deem as the 'norm', we are labelled as 'different'.  I guess, there and then, a seed was planted that has stayed with me all these years; to be a voice to those labelled by others as being marginalised, isolated or different.  I have always said to my Meg .... why be a sheep when there are so many other beautiful creatures you can be.

I remember a dear, dear friend coming out to me in the late 1980's.  I thought he was going to ask me out lol.  When he said 'there is something I have to tell you' I can remember thinking oh no, well I don't fancy him I will just have to tell him. Then we sat on the sofa and he said to me 'Karen, I am gay' and in a typical Karenism I said oh thank goodness is that all, I thought you were going to ask me out.  The LGBT world was completely different then.  Very little community or support for him.  I remember going out with him one Saturday to the one gay pub in the town.  I was the only straight person there, it was a new world to me.  We then went to the night club that was open the first Saturday of the month.  You only knew about it by word of mouth.  We turned up, knocked, yes knocked on the door and went in.  The atmosphere was electric, the music was good, people were friendly - for me it was a totally new experience.  He copped off with some guy lol.  The next day as we sat and talked about the evening I was devastated as I said to him 'What is it with me?  Guys don't want me, lesbians don't want me ......... no one wants me!'  Lol, I can still remember that Sunday morning and smile with fondness as I type this. 

Years later, he walked me down the aisle for the blessing of my wedding.  He later become Megan's Godfather.  Something I had to fight for as all her other Godparents are her father's brothers and sisters.  

Even though my friends I am only 29!  I remember the Government's campaign on AIDS in 1986 then the subsequent witch hunt of people living with HIV and AIDS.  People who were and who still are, quick enough to point the finger at others.  When I got my job working for a local HIV charity; which ironically come at a time of my life that was so awful, I could not have been more proud. My role was to support people living with HIV.  But the staff and clients filled my life with so much laughter and as many hugs as I wanted from my dear friend Steve at at time in my life when I have never been so low.  Ironically, their support got me through some really dark times and for that I will be always so thankful to them.

HIV does not discriminate.  I will ask you a question I used to ask the young people at the YOI I worked.  'Would you sleep with a person with HIV?'.  I can see you thinking now; I guess many of you will think no way, never, OMG no.  So I will ask you another question now 'Do you know your HIV status?'  I suspect many of you do not.  Go get tested.  I do every six months, just like the dentist.  I know my status!  And sure, of course I would have sex with someone who is HIV; because I would be protecting myself.  HIV has no labels; people put labels on others.

I remember when my Megan was two years old a couple I knew (and still do and who are probably reading this) had their baby. And we, as a family were invited to her naming ceremony.  I can remember JF saying 'What are we going to tell Meg, how are we going to explain this?'  Why is it a problem?  Two people have had a baby.  I told Meg that, and I shall not use names,  I told her that Baby has two mummies.  Meg obviously said 'oh why, where is her daddy?'  I explained to her that baby had a daddy but he does not live with them, she has contact with him but she has two mummies who love her so very much.  Meg's response, aged two was 'Oh that's nice!'.  That was it, no drama.  Meg just accepted that she had two people who loved her.  And I guess that is what it is all about - love.


Recently, I explained to someone that I don't do bad Karma.  If I can control a situation and give second chances, to spread some love and happiness I will. Love in the broadest of terms, does give me hope!

So today, for me, being a part of London Pride fills my heart with such happiness.  I know so many LGBT people who, have over the years, enrich my life in so many ways. But the joy it gives me when, like yesterday along the South Bank, I see two people, two men, so much in love with each other, holding hands, looking at each other as if the world is not there, it is then I think to myself ..... sure all you need is love; because that is all it is.  It's just love.

Happy Pride London Day my friends................... now go spread your sparkle and love.












Friday 26 June 2015

'And if it's so that we only pass this way but once; what a perfect waste of time'.






And so begins yet another week.  Yes, yes, yes .... still no DBS!  I will be selling a kidney before long!  #Justgivingkarenafivertoeatthisweek!

Monday: Nothing exciting happened really. I have recently got back in contact with people I attended Primary School with!  Can you believe that?  It is because I have gone back to my unusual maiden name.  I was chatting to one recently and she said 'I remember you being funny at school'.  This did make me chuckle.  I guess, even after all these years, nothing really changes. I went to Andy's office after work and helped the LGBT group with something, but can't mention it yet.  We were both tired tonight and went off to our rooms before 10.00pm.  Then at 3.30 (well probably that 3.33 thing again I had a few years back) I was awake, wide awake.  I lay there until just before 5.00 and thought stuff it.

TUESDAY:  So I was in the gym for 5.30!  One of the good things about living in London is that it never sleeps; the city is always moving.  By the time I arrived at the gym there were probably 25 people there (it is a 24 hour gym).  So I worked bloody hard, taking my frustration out on the equipment.  I got back to the flat as Andy was leaving for work and it transpires that he too, has had a terrible nights sleep.

I decided that I needed to get some bits and bobs and the only place was Covent Garden so I would walk there and back.  On my way I passed a Church at Waterloo that appears to support the homeless.  They were cooking Thai food.  A really sweet guy, who I suspect has had challenges in his very short life, cooked my Pad Thai with tofu - I mean!  It was absolutely delicious.  I sat there in the sunshine; as much as I love Bangkok I don't need to be there now as I have every thing I need here.  As I left, I thanked him and said it was delicious.  He just beamed bless him.






Pad Thai with tofu

WEDNESDAY: I have no sparkle today.  London is full of too many tourists and building sites.  I watched Bridget Jones again this evening and I guess even she was in her 30's and look at me; it just made me feel worse. Even the aeroplanes that fly over the flat every 30 seconds cannot bring a smile to my face this evening. I normally look up at them in wonder, dreaming about where they have come from, who was on them, why were they coming to London.  I guess it is the wonderment of travel, the excitement and adventures it brings.  But not today.  The jolly drunk, just, on the night bus never got a smile from me.  I just turned up the volume on my iPod so I could not hear him.   This time will pass. 

Third 'date' with legs kinda happened, sort of, eventually; but there will be no more.   I think that people come into your life for various reasons - they need to learn from you or we need them to show us there is something that is missing in our lives.  They can stay with us for years, forever; or it can just be a fleeting visit and then they are gone.  There is a line in a beautiful Elbow song - Sad Captains, that says 'and if it's so that we only pass this way but once; what a perfect waste of time'.  It's been a perfect waste of time.  (I have had to smile, I have just watched the video and there is a great deal of standing on tip toes lol).


www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lAVeeuwRiI

But everyone we meet, regardless, leaves an impression with us - either good, bad or indifferent.  Sometimes, as individuals, we have to make choices - I guess it is self-preservation, but it always comes with a price. It is demonstrated here by Andrew Lincoln in Love Actually.  You can see and feel his pain, anguish, frustration why he decides what to do. Follow his head or his heart.


https://youtu.be/Ou-7lYjK8ro

I guess, like Andy said, we are all damaged to a lesser or greater extent - why should I expect to be any different.


“Oh God, what's wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?” 

THURSDAY:  Finally dragged myself out of bed, I really do need to be working.  As much as we moan about it, it gives us structure.  No structure in my life at the moment and I am a creature (like many of us) of habit ...... even though I like to be totally reckless at time.  Just checked the DBS again - no change (sigh).  So I will sit and read my book and wait.  Dragged myself out of the flat eventually.  I read recently a saying ..... if you go outside, magic happens.  No magic, no sparkle but the sun was shining.  I sat in the park at Russell Square watching people come and go, listening to my beloved music. I then went to the Welcome Foundation at Euston and viewed an exhibition on Sexology.  If, and it is a big if, I ever get the chance to study for my Master's degree it would be in sexuality and gender.   I had to smile.  They wanted people, if they felt comfortable, to complete a questionnaire about sex.  I really was not in the mood, but I sat there with a huge group of 17 year old males and females, filling in my questionnaire.  A couple of the questions did make me smile.  All in the name of research I guess.  Kinsey would be applauding me.





Indeed, at least I am in London but I have just looked at this picture again and there is a bloody mountain in it .............. probably Switzerland lol



I popped over to Euston to get the tube home but actually went on the concourse and looked at the train to Manchester, that stops at Stoke - just to remind me of how far I have come, regardless of little blimps.  Ironically, it had been cancelled.  Andy was back when I got home and we sat and once again, my dear friend, found the positive in everything.  Where would I be without him.  He is one of those people who strolled into my life when I needed to laugh (cross reference this with Friday's post).  He too, was not in a particularly good place and the pair of us have just travelled together since.  Most people think a soul mate has to be someone you are in a relationship with.  I do not subscribe to this point of view - I guess Andy is my soul mate (he will hate reading this, if he ever does).  We are both there for each other - regardless.

So tomorrow - new dawn, new day .............................

Friday:  So, I am not even out of bed yet and there, on the TV, never seen it before is an advert for a weeks holiday, by rail to Switzerland! Then I hear the sad news that Patrick Magee has died, very sad. Then they mention his son and his name!  OK, OK I get it! So things come in three .................... New dawn, new day ..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Oh and here it is on the radio, music of course, the third thing. They are playing the Staple Sisters - Respect Yourself!  That will do, I'll take that thank you.


So here I am, sitting in bed writing this and I was just thinking how we, as humans continue to recreate patterns.  For example, people who leave relationships because they are not happy, but then jump straight into another long term relationship (mentioning no names).   It is like even though we want to change we still revert back to our same old ways. I guess over the past four years I haven't really done that.  I have moved three times, travelled extensively on my own, met some amazing people who have taught me so much.  I remember I read a book once called The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.  It is about a guy arriving in heaven thinking that he hasn't achieved anything mind blowing in life, but in heaven five people explained to him his life. Some he knew, others were strangers.  Five people revisit their connections to him on earth, and looking at the mysteries of his 'meaningless' uneventful life but answering the question of why he was there.




Image result for book about six people the character meet on his way to heaven who he had helped


We all swan through life, smiling at strangers, meeting people for a short time .... I am thinking of Daniel in Bangkok now; yet these people can play such a crucial part in your life, even though they are just passing through.

So in London I am making new patterns, new experiences.  Yet still at times 
within that framework there are still some familiar patterns but, at least I recognise them more now and are challenging them.  I am surviving every day with the most excruciating pain, that of losing a child.  Nothing else matters - that's my bench mark.  So all has to be good.

Buddha states that we have to continue to repeat the same lessons over and over and until we learn, then we move on.  So today, I am going to break the cycle of doom and treat myself to some fun .... because I can and I need to let off some steam. I am going to be reckless, selfish and indulgent.  I am going to put my needs first - I need my sparkle back. I need to be smiling at strangers again and walking around like a crazy, spirited fool.  Because tomorrow is a big day....................




Tomorrow I am so proud to be taking part in the parade for London Pride - me, part of London Pride, walking in the parade, so I need my sparkle ..... how cool is that!


Finally, I was going to apologise for this week's blog being somewhat downbeat, but I am not.  It is how it is guys.  The whole point of this blog is not necessarily for you to read but for me to keep a journal of events, so just in case one day, someone needs to fill in all the gaps.

Be happy and keep looking up.  There is so much going on up there if you just lift your head up.


As always, with my love x











Monday 22 June 2015

Single and Fabulous Darling ......... Cocktails and Legs (again)!

Saturday:  I seriously think my life is turning into Bridget Jones and Sex and the City.  I have gone from a big fat zero of male attention in Wetley Rocks a place where I worried about my size and that no one would be interested. To fighting them off!  All that worry about can't eat this, can't do that.  It started this morning as I was walking to the gym (yes you did read that right).  So there I am in my gym kit, iPod in, sunglasses on minding my own business when as I walk past the building site, four, yes four builders were waving and attracting my attention to say good morning to me!  Really!  So I gave them a wave and a smile and scooted off sniggering to myself.

Get to the gym and as I have things on my mind, had decided that I was going to work bloody hard this morning to clear my head.  So I am sitting on one of the pieces of equipment and a gym instructor says 'Good Morning', so I obviously respond.  Then five minutes later he is back saying did I need any help adjusting the equipment to suit my height.  No get real at this point.  Trust me please when I say I do not look my best at the gym.  Andy and I went to see Jurassic World yesterday and that woman in her heels looked better after running from her life from dinosaurs than I do after an hour at the gym.  So the German sounding instructor is altering the equipment and showing me how to do it and we get into a conversation about how people don't look up any more as they are busy looking at their phones; to adjust the equipment you had to adjust the settings over your head.  So we had a chat and a smile.  Really? The Gym?  Bridget Jones aka Karen Guile wanton sex godess ...... you know the rest of that quote and if you don't at least the girls should know it - guy's Google it!

So since I arrived in town I have been spoilt for choice on the man front.  It ceases to amaze me but I think now, stuff it! Just enjoy it!  As long as they are older than Megan (which they are on average lol) and they are, I can make up for lost time.  However, in a true Karenism that alone creates a dilemma.  Remember in my last post, all the girls like a bad boy.  Well currently I could have six Daniel Cleavers on the go and one lovely Mark D'arcy.  I cannot decide if I want to be like a Samantha, I am over analysing it (typical Karen fashion grrrrrrrrrrr) like a Carrie or do I want a Steve like Miranda ....... at least I know that I am not the other prissy one whose name escapes me.  Oh for those of you who are not familiar, these are characters from Sex and the City and obviously Daniel Cleaver and Mark D'arcy are from Bridget.  See I told you my life is like a drama ......... but you know that already, that is why you read this!

This 'dating' lark (and I am using that term very loosely) has got so complicated.  Yet, in other ways, nothing has changed.  Men and women really till do not understand each other.  I guess it is that Venus and Mars thing. In the age of mass communication all relationship rules have been thrown out of the window, that is Rule One.  So therefore, by default, there are no rules. What works one day; fails to work the next.  But trust me when I say it does not matter how old you are even if you are not 29 like me or what size you are there are plenty of guys here who would be interested in you; interesting, intelligent, educated, professional gorgeous guys.   I said to Andy that I feel that I have been let loose in a sweet shop, but I am a diabetic!  You know the chocolate is there but it really is not 'right' to continually indulge in it. He just wants a second date love him and I, in a typical 'woman' fashion, don't know what I want.  Nothing new there then.  I have been saying that for the past four years.  

I remember Jenny who I worked with at Buddies telling me that I need to compromise my list of 'demands', which if I am to be truthful, were getting out of hand.  Saying that, I have met a guy in London who know what a Mangosteen was and knew what to do with a papaya ;)  Back to my list, Jenny used to tell me that I would never find someone who gets on with their life (leaving me to get on with mine) then we meet up go out, have fun then go our separate ways again.  

The way I see it there are just still two alternatives for relationships and I guess, for me, neither are what I am looking for.

Firstly - the hook up.     Yes you read that right.  No commitment, just sex.  Rules to this are you meet, you have sex, you go.  AKA Sex in the City!

Secondly - the relationship.  Which then leads on to shopping in Sainsbury's then ironing shirts before you know it and back to square one.

For a long term solution I do not want either of them and there lies the dilemma.

Then there is my demand lol.  Be in a 'relationship' meet up, have fun, go out, do things then get on with your life until next time.

See, I told you I and it was so complicated.  I do not believe in true, everlasting love any more.  Life has made me that way.  Will never trust and it doesn't matter how many times I watch Love Actually, I am still a cynical bitch ..... even though it makes me cry!



Image result for mark darcy and daniel cleaver


So, one (or more) of the Daniel Cleaver or a Mark D'arcy that is the dilemma of the week.  You decide.  Because let's face it, I can't keep taking myself of to the gym now to work it out lol.

Sunday:  Father's Day.  Oh Dad what would you make of all this I ask myself.  Well firstly, I know that you would be proud of me.  You would love the fact that I love Asia and that I enjoy travelling. I like to think you are up there chuckling away, have a gin and tonic and watching over me. 


1075890_10200886075587042_1858250898_n.jpg

I am the one on the left, not the one in the middle!  You can see it is me - the same nose and eyes ..... Just like my Dad

Gym first thing.  No more than ten feet from the flat gates I am attracting attention again........ so funny.  Gym was great but Andy and I should not go together.  The thoughts that I normally keep in my head when I go end up leaving my mouth when I am with him.

Andy had a lunch 'date' and I showered and took myself off to Guy's Hospital.  It was so lovely, on Father's Day.  I went to the chapel and placed a candle, had a cry and left.  All good.  I then took myself off to the National Portrait Gallery to see Lord Snowden's photographs ........ ha ha there is a tale there with the Armstrong-Jones I could tell you.  It is that seven degrees of separation thing again lol.  One day I may share it with you.  So I had such a lovely afternoon.  Got home and Andy made us a Cosmopolitan cocktail, like in Sex and the City, my goodness it was strong.  We were going to have a face pack, cocktail and box set evening ..................


Image result for cosmopolitan cocktail


Then I got a message ...... Cast you minds back my friends to the 'you are a dark horse' email catastrophe fuelled by Chardonnay........ then two weeks ago date that actually turned up in the park.  Well we have been mailing (he does not live in London) and we had arranged to meet up on Wednesday but moved it to Sunday night (he is the Mark D'arcy).  So to safeguard people's identity I shall call him 'Legs' lol.  That has made chuckle.  Legs is very tall (as you know that is a big tick in the list of requirements lol) but I mean very tall.  I am 5' 4" (just) and last time I wore heels it was a disaster especially when alcohol is involved.  Legs is 6' 5".  I love it, I feel so tiny lol it's great.  We met up at Victoria Station and it was OK going on the escalator because then I was the same height.  I had such a lovely, lovely evening.  I really did.  He seems a really decent guy (wont hear me say that very often) and I got a present too (behave yourselves tut tut ..... smutty minds!).  He lives and works in Switzerland so I received a Toblerone.  I told him about my Dignitas cupboard and feel that it is only fitting that is has a place there to round off the theme - so funny.  But I had a great evening and we are meeting up again Wednesday.  He has a busy few days in London but I am quite flattered that he wants to spend some time with me too.  Now, this certainly would not have happened in Wetley Rocks would it!

So, all in all, a brilliant weekend.  See, no more dull, boring Sundays on my own ever again.

Be happy my friends and survive and enjoy this week.


As always, with much love x





Friday 19 June 2015

Sam Smith "How Will I Know" Whitney Houston Cover Live @ SiriusXM // Hits 1




Well I thought I would treat you as this weeks theme is music.  

Here he is, my gorgeous Sam Smith who as many of you know, could sing his little soul out to me night and day.  We have had a thing going on since early last summer, but in typical Karen fashion he is unaware of it.

Well I found this link and thought I would share it with you - enjoy!

Oh how I'd love to hear 'Holy cow I love your eyes!' But more like I'd hear ....' stupid cow you forgot the fries!'

Monday:  Another Monday.  But Sunday evening ended in a spectacular fashion which really summed up the whole weekend.  I pulled my nose stud out when blowing my nose!  See its all rock and roll living in London.  I just knew it was going to be a scene out of Miranda meets Bridget Jones in an endeavour to replace said stud.  And it was.  I watched three YouTube videos and then, 25 minutes later I was left with a nose that Sir Alex Ferguson and Rudolph would have been proud of; coupled with an outbreak of teenage acne from the still undelivered baby pizza that I am carrying (obviously to full term), I fell into bed wondering what adventures this week will bring.


Perhaps I need a nose ring like this ........ it may be easier!


Tuesday:  So the theme of this week's blog my friends is ......... Music.  Hence the title.  Extra house points from anyone who recognises the song .......

Do you remember all those years ago when this adventure aka my new life started and I compiled a list of what I would and would not accept for my future?  Well one of them was I want to be adored, not necessary loved, just adored will do!  The line 'holy cow I love your eyes' is from one of my favourite songs ever from one of my favourite bands - Elbow!  As many of you know I am a sucker for a good accent and the lovely Guy Garvey (lead singer of Elbow) has the most amazing voice and really should be madly in love with me by now, especially as he too is single.  But as usual in my life, he just doesn't realise it yet.  Anyway, I was saying to Andy over the weekend, who I must add at this point is still suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when he hears this song as it reminds him of our trip to Amsterdam and the world's worse hangover.  This song was my alarm on my phone that fateful weekend.  Anyway, moving on, in my desire to be adored I would love a bloke to say to me .... 'holy cow I love your eyes'.  However, on reflection, I have decided that the nearest I am ever likely to hear is something along the lines of - 'you stupid cow, you forgot the fries!'

This little scenario, which like all the others, took place in my head, then got me thinking about music in general.  I think if may because of my recent 'success' as learning how to mix Jungle Drum and Bass as my new persona of Fat Girl Slim or one could argue Slim Girl Fat, in a flat in Dulwich - oh that is such a funny tale.  All I am going to say is, to protect the identity of the not so innocent, that I left said flat early the next morning after consuming far too much gin and very little tonic.  The door opened and the sun was blinding; I was like Patsy out of Ab Fab as a scurried to the Tesco next door to buy carbs!  I started to eat an egg sandwich (my favourite) on the bus home then felt quite ill.  When I got home, sneaking past the flat downstairs so Vera did not hear me come in, as she saw me go out the previous night .......  I mean, how old am I? Andy had made me a cup of tea but to be honest I couldn't face it.  I fell asleep, across my bed, on my tummy with my arms stretched out over my head lol! So, so bad but it was fun and I had a 'super cool' evening.  Because apparently I am just 'super cool' - of course I am lol.  I will smile forever now when I hear some Drum and Bass - happy days, happy days.

So when I left Stoke I compiled a playlist on my iPod of songs that for various reasons were personal to me; not all of them as I don't have every track on my iPod.  When I left the cottage for the last time I put this playlist on and sobbed and sobbed - good therapy eh?  Some of you would be surprised of some of the songs on there. Anyone want to make a guess?  There really is a mixture:  Mozart, Coldpay, U2, ACDC ....................

Years ago when I was working at Home-Start I had a family say to me 'what music have you got on your iPod'. She was not the brightest star in the sky bless her but I explained to her that I had everything from Mozart to Eminem - if I like it, I listen to it.  Her response was priceless 'Oh Mozart.  He hasn't had anything new out for ages has he?'  Sad but oh so true.  I believe that you are only as old as your playlist!

I can't imagine my life without music.  Some of the lyrics are, to me, like modern day poetry.  You can hear a couple of lines in a song that so connect with your life, it is as if the writer has you totally in mind - as in 'holy cow I love your eyes'.  So what are the song tracks to your life?  Those of you who have read my travel blogs will know that music is a theme than has also run through them.  So speak to me - tell me the soundtrack to your life!



Wednesday:  So it is now Wednesday, what happened there.   I really do not know where I am going to fit work in!  No sign of the DBS yet ..................... Sigh.  I would go busking if I could sing but as many of you know:  I think I can sing ... but I can't but that does not stop me from belting out a tune or two in the shower.  So today has been super exciting!  Topsy and Tim aka Andy and Karen have been to the dentist.  Andy had to have two wisdom teeth removed; one either side.  So off we trot to the bus stop and go to Forest Hill which in London travel - miles away almost countryside!  Poor little soul was kept waiting but when it was time to go he asked if I could go with him and they said yes! How great is that! I tell you, I have never moved so quick in my life.  My glasses were off, booked closed, grabbed my handbag and I was up those stairs like a greyhound out of a trap before they could change their mind.  
OK it was not on the bucket list to see teeth removed but it was great.



Image result for dentist clipart


I had to sit outside but the door was open and I could see it all.  He had loads of injections to numb the pain then before I knew it, the first tooth was out.  It was amazing, so quick.  The dentist put some stitches in then I paid more attention to the next one.  That took a bit longer.  I thought, in my niavety or the fact that I am many things but not a fully qualified dentist, that they actually pulled the tooth out.  But they don't.  He had like a great big screwdriver thing and just popped it out by prising it out! Amazing. Anyway, we are home now.  I am the designated nurse, God help me and him, no uniform for me though lol.  So I have given him some of my painkillers from my Dignitas cupboard and he is now sleeping.


The Dignitas cabinet is full of lovely meds so when I go totally insane, or the end is neigh and the NHS has gone and I can't afford a one ticket to Switzerland (again, really!) I can put myself out of my own misery! Those of you who read my blog from Cambodia (whatanchor2015.blogspot.co.uk)  will recall that I come home with 36 Diazepam tablets, 10mg each that cost me around £1.90  Coupled with the 12 Diazepam 2mg tablets my Doctor gave me before I left to travel and all the co-codamol and slow release ibuprofen other people gave me is enough to re-enact with Andy, the Dot and Ethel scene from Eastenders.  Copious amounts of Class A painkillers and gin then goodnight Vienna, exit stage right, probably with sound track of my life playing on my iPod. But fear not my friends, that is a long, long, long way off yet as this woman has far too much living to enjoy! 

NEWS FLASH - Remember the email, the Chardonnay fuelled rant from the weekend?  Phew all OK.  In fact, I think, under the circumstances, I got off quite lightly! Note to self: never go to bed when 'tipsy' with communication gadgets ...................

Thursday:  Andy looks like a hamster, bless!  DBS check is almost completed - yay! Another sunny day in London.  My new job title is to be Enhanced Service Delivery Manager (give someone a fancy job title you don't have to pay them much!).  Anyway, it is abbreviated as, and this is where it makes me chuckle ...... ESDM.  Think about it. I can hear the clogs grinding.  I will give you a hint.  How many of you remember my lovely painting that Emma and Jason gave me - Gimp Duck lol.  I just know I am going to get this in a muddle, I can hear myself .... I mean can't you.  Only I could secure a job under the heading ESDM.  It is like fifty shades of rainbow.  The reason how this come to light was because once again, from his sick chair, Andy and I were watching Sex and the City and there was an episode including BDSM - no, no, no not my new job, keep up!  We did chuckle as we watched it when we realised just one letter E/B, B/E ............ it is a car crash waiting to happen.

Friday:  So another week has flown by. I really do not know where the time goes. I have now been in London 11 weeks and it seems like I have always been here.  Hopefully, I will be starting work in a few weeks and then another chapter will begin. Wine order being delivered today - don't ask.  The thing is, living in London means that you can only carry two bags of shopping at one time and that means, no wine!  So I have placed an order of 12 mixed bottles and it is coming today - yay!  However, I am not missing having a car.  I walk a great deal and I have had to adapt my life accordingly.  But I love it.  And I really cannot imagine (at the moment) living anywhere else.

So the exciting (sad) highlight of today has been watching a video on how to fold a fitted king size sheet ..... I mean, really?  I really hope that this is not an omen for the rest of the weekend.  This afternoon Andy and I went to the IMAX at Waterloo to see Jurassic World.  Another new experience since coming to London which have included Lebanese food, visit to a Gin Bar and meeting a guy who had his own restaurant in Phnom Phen.  So the film basically was dinosaurs on the rampage.  However, the woman in it failed initially to get her perfectly white outfit dirty and had the ability to run round throughout the film in high heels even though she was running for her life from dinosaurs.  I mean, really!  I can't even walk in heels let alone run in the damn things.  Anyway, the IMAX was massive and it was in 3D which I eventually got used too and it was a lovely afternoon.

Arrived back at the flat and the shipment of wine has arrived - yay!  12 bottles of lovely nectar.  Andy has cooked macaroni cheese for dinner and we are just sitting in the lounge; me typing this and him playing on his phone.  We are listening to Alanis Morissette as I need to think and this is significant as the theme this week is music.  We have just listened to Ironic and one of the lines in that song is ...... 'It's like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife'.  However, Andy has changed it for me and started to sing 'it's like meeting the man of my dreams and then fucking him off because he was nice' ....... he knows me so well.  Dilemmas, dilemmas but I will figure it out; I will put on my red shoes and dance the blues.

Well that is another week over and hey the girl survived ...... thanks Alanis - wow that women is angry.  Enjoy your weekend guys, don't do anything I wouldn't do ........  

                                                  As always, with much love x   

 PS as it was a music them this week I have posted my lovely Sam singing ........ enjoy!